Part 2: There is no spoon
Well now that you know the truth you must be saying now what? And you are correct now what. There’s this truth just hanging out there between us. And it’s just sitting there with a smug expression on it’s face. The truth is just taunting you and calling you a dumbass for going out on all those dates that didn’t go anywhere. All that time you spent on someone that really didn’t like you. All that time and effort gone to waste. Getting hurt when that person didn’t want to see you ever again. The truth is laughing so hard right now that it’s peeing it’s pants.
So what now?
Well lets go back to the Spoon Boy and the Truth.
Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
All your life, whether you realize it or not, you’ve been trying to bend a spoon. And when I say spoon of course I mean another person. You’ve been trying to bend that person into the right shape so that they will like you. Of course though, as you now so painfully realize, the Truth is that you cannot make someone like you. There has to be something that the person you are interested in finds attractive. If there is no attraction there is no relationship.
Oh and lets make one thing perfectly clear. And I’m going to bold this because this is another Truth.
ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE!
I thought that I would emphasize this because this is also very true. (I’ll again bring up David DeAngelo because this is one of his mantras. Btw you should look him up and get his Double Your Dating series if you haven’t already.) Sometimes you sit and scratch your head wondering why some beautiful woman is with some jerk that treats her badly. Why will a woman keep some loser guy that sits at home all day playing video games and smoking pot while she works to support them? You gotta wonder what it is that keeps a woman in a unhealthy relationship. Well it’s because ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE! If attraction where a choice women would be all over “nice guys” and you wouldn’t be here seeking dating advice from some know it all with a dating website.
Ok so now what? Attraction is not a choice? OMG what do I do now??? My brain is melting!
Calm down and let us go back to the Spoon boy.
Spoon boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Ok guys here’s an aha moment for ya. If everything that you’ve been doing up to now has resulted in rejection. Then you need to change yourself.
Huh? What? Change myself? What does that mean?
It means, genious, that if you want to change your current dating predicament you will have to take everything you know about dating and throw it away. Because what you are doing now is not working. It’s time for a mental makeover. You need to change and you need to figure out what it is that women are attracted. And once you do find out what women are attracted to you need to become that.
In the next part of There is no spoon I’m going to talk a bit about attraction so stay tuned.
Part 2 of There is no Spoon
by Alberto Solano
www.a-zofdating.com
©2008